In this week's "Lessons Learned" episode I share my 3 biggest tips to improving conversations that I've learned in my coaching training.

I always thought I was a good conversationalist until I went through my coaching certification. Wow, was that an eye-opener!!!

I learned my conversations were more about me trying to get my voice heard and give my opinions and/or advice vs. me wanting to connect with the other person and making sure they felt heard and valued.

Or if I was trying to connect, I wasn't doing it with the intention of making the person I was talking to feel heard and seen. It was with the intent of ME being seen and heard! :(

Sounds kind of awful, doesn't it? But now I know why, and if you'd like to know more about that, check out last week's episode (Episode 286), where I share a childhood trauma I uncovered that explains everything! 

As I was thinking about what topics to cover as we head into the holidays, I thought about all of the conversations that will...

In this week's "Lessons Learned" episode I get super vulnerable as I share a breakthrough I had at an intimate retreat I attended in Sedona this past week with my amazing coach. And yes, per the episode title, it's about a childhood trauma that I uncovered. (This is also a great example of why everyone needs a coach, even coaches need coaches!!!)

Most humans, if normal, have some kind of trauma from childhood that is carried forward into adulthood. Some traumas are actually even passed along from previous generations by our ancestors which is a topic I'm just starting to delve into and will talk about in a future episode... But today I'm talking about a trauma that occurred 55 years ago when I was 8 years old.

The trauma was triggered by an event and subsequent thoughts that became obsessive and controlled my daily life. Over time, as I aged, those thoughts that had led to coping rituals, were pushed down into my subconscious and tucked away until now.

But what I've learned and...

This is the 4th and final episode of my 4 part series on the 4 agreements that I learned from the book "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz.

This episode covers the 4th agreement which is: Always do your best. 

And like the other agreements, it sounds simple, but it's multi-layered - what you may think it means, well, there's more to it!

Even though I had listened to the book on Audible and was aware of the 4 agreements, I clearly had forgotten the lesson of this one because as I re-listened to it in preparation for this series, I realized that I was feeling guilty about something I didn't do this week, which, if you are really living by this 4th agreement, guilt is an indicator you are NOT doing your best.

It helped the seed of this agreement, that was planted when I first heard it, grow even deeper in my psyche in that I will be more aware that saying no for certain reasons IS doing my best.

I hope hearing this 4th agreement...

This is Part 3 of my 4 part series on the 4 agreements I learned about in the book "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz.

This episode covers the 3rd agreement which is: Don't make assumptions. 

This is something we all do as it's how the human mind works. But if we begin to recognize when we're making assumptions and realize how they are creating emotional poison in our lives, we can transform the way we communicate with others and thus transform our lives.

In this episode, I share a couple of personal examples from my past as well as an exercise about assumptions that show how easy it is to make them.

I hope hearing this 3rd agreement gives you a new perspective about how often and unconsciously assumptions are made and helps you see the #1 action you can take that will help eliminate them.

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and subscribe to (or follow) the podcast (if you haven't already) so you don't miss any...

This is Part 2 of my 4-part series on the 4 agreements I learned about in the book "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz.

This episode covers the 2nd agreement which is: Don't take anything personally. 

It's a powerful concept and one which I can honestly say is something I know I've struggled with on social media as a social media influencer who is very open and public with her opinions and thoughts that I know some don't agree with. 

This agreement is one I plan to follow going forward because I know it will eliminate the fear of judgment that creeps into my psyche when I do make posts that trigger negative reactions by some.

Just one negative comment can send me into a tailspin for the day!

But now all I need to do is remember this agreement I'm committing to, and no matter what someone may say, do not take it personally. It's not about me at all. It's about them and the programming they've had that drives their thoughts,...

I recently listened to a book on Audible that was very impactful to me, so much so that I decided to share nuggets from it on my podcast as a 4-part series. The book is called "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz.

I decided to separate the nuggets into 4 separate episodes because I believe each is important enough to dedicate an episode to. This episode covers the first agreement and it is a powerful one.

Here are a few comments about this book from some people who you may recognize:

• “This book by Don Miguel Ruiz, simple yet so powerful, has made a tremendous difference in how I think and act in every encounter.” — Oprah Winfrey
• “Don Miguel Ruiz’s book is a roadmap to enlightenment and freedom.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success
• “An inspiring book with many great lessons.” — Wayne Dyer, Author, Real Magic

I hope hearing this agreement gives you a new...

I have something special for you in this episode... It's a new training I did all about the empty nester roles (aka personas) I've identified which will give you a great indicator for how fulfilled you are at this stage in life.

In this training I cover:

• How I became so familiar with these personas
• The 6 Empty Nester Personas & why knowing them is important
• A little Neuroscience lesson about how your persona impacts your behavior
• How to find out YOUR Empty Nest Persona

I can't wait for you to listen in and get an aha or two that will likely give you some real clarity to get you moving towards more fulfillment in your life. You deserve it!

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and subscribe to (or follow) the podcast (if you haven't already) so you don't miss any new episodes.

If you'd like to connect or reach out to ME, you can find me at:

Email: [email protected] 
Website: www.notyouraveragegrandma.com     
...

This past week I learned about 2 Facebook pages and 2 Facebook groups that are great places to connect with women over 50!

So if you are my age or even a bit younger - a Gen Xer (born between 1965 and 1980) or a Baby Boomer (born between 1946 and 1964) - you may want to check them out.

If you're not on Facebook, you're out of luck. But, if you were on Facebook and left, these groups may be worth going back because they are great virtual spaces where you can interact with women that have a lot in common with you. And you might even meet someone that doesn't live far from you who you can connect with in person!

Listen in as I give a little lesson about the difference between a Facebook profile, a page and a group and what each is used for, explain how to find these particular pages and groups, and share some of the the interesting discussions that are happening in these groups.

After I recorded this episode I found the following comment that sums it up nicely from inside The Ethel...

Today's topic was inspired by an old lesson that was reintroduced to me when I added and had to adjust accordingly to a whole 40 hour work week onto my already-busy schedule running my coaching business.

I've been a firm believer in the power of planning for a long time and I know how life-changing it can be when you build structure into your day, but I was not building enough structure which meant I was not gaining the most benefit possible. 

And the funny thing is is that I didn't even realize how loosey-goosey the structure of my day had become until I was forced to add more as a result of all of the tasks added to my plate juggling two jobs.

It's really been a blessing in disguise because it's caused me to reflect on how much time I was wasting by lacking structure and how that has affected my productivity and energy. I was going through the motions but my planning was half-assed. And this lesson has reinforced not just my belief but also my passion about how vital it is...

This lesson came from a combination of a guided meditation session AND an incident with my husband having to do with my new desk.  

This incident happened last weekend but the meditation session didn't come until 4 days later - I love delayed lessons that come from sitting quietly in a meditative state!

It was a message that definitely resonated with me and I needed to receive. And when I got that lesson, I knew I had to share it with my listeners.

This is one great example of why I love the guided meditations by Tamara Levitt in the Calm app. I usually get some kind of necessary lesson.

This particular guided meditation was called "Kind Communication" and my communication certainly didn't fall into the kind category last weekend. But fortunately I caught myself and self-corrected.

We're human so we often forget to lead with kindness in our communication because we do it to get OUR needs met (ego) vs. thinking about what the other person needs. So this lesson was a great...